Ze
Alright, guys, we made it to 50k!
Regect
50 gees!
Ze
How do we feel? How’re we feeling? Uh, what do you think we should do? What should we, uh-
Regect
I don’t know, I- I thought- I thought you had something, but-
Ze
What do you mean, you don’t know?
Regect
I don’t know, it’s just- I thought that- [Pained] OH!
Ze
Oh- sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you.
Regect
No, it’s okay, but I just thought you would plan something.
Ze
I don’t know. You- You don’t have any idea? I expect Moe not to have any, she-
Regect
No, I didn’t- I- I didn’t know that was a requirement, I thought you’d have it planned.
Ze
Well what, you just- you just expect me to do it all by myself?
Regect
Well I thought you would at least have something ready. Like, spitballing. Well it’s just- like, I- I don’t know, I just- you didn’t have anything lined up?
Ze
I mean, jeez, are you going to help? No! Why would I- You didn’t have any idea, you just- Then what did you do all day?
Ze
You know what? You know what? This is why you got rejected. This is why you got rejected.
Regect
Oh is it? Is it really? Why did I get rejected, why?
Ze
Yeah, you got rejected because- because, uh- you’re not scary.
[Regect goes silent and still.]
Ze
Dude? Hello? Okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t- Wh- What the f-
[With a glitch, Ze appears in a nether-like pocket dimension.]
Ze
Where the hell am I? What is- what is- huh?! Hello?
Alright, this is probably just some stupid side plot. It’s- it’s probably just gonna be me walking around for a bit, I bet. U- Until I find the way out.
Oh, it’s- there it is! See? I’m good at this.
Ze
Why is there so much soul sand? Too much soul sand for me. I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna question it. I’m just gonna walk over the- the red stuff. Or not, I guess.
Alright, I’m going home. And when I get back there, I’m- swear to god, when I see him again I’m going-
[With a glitch, Ze goes through a door and ends up in another nether-like space.]
Ze
-to... Wh- I- What? Where? Okay. That’s cool.
Ze
Did I die and, like, go to hell? Is that the joke? It’s not funny. It’s not funny at all.
Ze
Okay, another door. Alright. I’m gonna go through this one, and I’m going home, okay?
[With a glitch, Ze goes through a door and ends up in a miniature nether fortress. Regect briefly appears down a blocked off hallway but runs off.]
Ze
Okay, that’s getting really old, I- Oh, HEY! Asshole, get over here! Oh, w- where are you going?! I- oh- There’s a chest here.
A golden pickaxe? Okay, well, it’ll get the job done, at least.
Ze
When did you have time to build this? You don’t do- It’s raining? In hell? Or wherever I am? And there’s a big pool of lava, I bet he put that there. Cause he’s a- cause he’s- what’s the word... Cause he’s a dickhead.
Oh! There’s a little tower over there. I need to bridge across, though. But I only have these stairs, how am I supposed to- Oh, wait a minute. I have the pickaxe.
Ze
Heheh... Sorry, buddy. I’m just too smart for this. Good try, though! I appreciate it. I guess I- OH!
[Glitching as Ze is teleported back onto the stairs he fell from.]
Ze
It’s okay, nothing happened. I didn’t fall. I just- went down a bit.
Okay, there’s nothing up here. Is there supposed to be something up here? Or do you just-
[Glitching startles Ze and he starts to fall.]
Ze
What the fuck?! Woah woah woah, shit!
[With a glitch, Ze is transported somewhere in the sky.]
Ze
Oh my g- Where am I? Am I falling? Is this snow? I’m in Nebraska. No, it’s raining now, I’m in the Amazon. No- I- where am I?!
[An ominous drone and the sound of a heart beating begin to fill the air.]
Ze
Oh my god, what is going on? Wh- what is that sound? What is that? There’s something- There’s something in here, I need to get out of here, now!
Uh- wh- where is here? The ground’s made of- shit! Wh-
[The droning gets louder and whispering begins.]
Ze
It’s getting louder. I- I- I need to find that door, I need to find a door. I need a door, I need- Where is the door?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Oh my god-! AH--!
[Ze’s yell gets absorbed into a glitch.]
[Now back in the overworld, Ze pants and stammers, speechless with fear.]
Regect
Yeah. So next time you call me “not scary”, just remember that. Just remember all that, because I did that. That was all me. I did that, hello, it was me.
Anyways, check this out! Moe got a new song, she made a new song.
[Cheery electronic music begins to play.]
Ze
O- Okay. Yeah, sure. Alright, yeah, th- th- thank you for fifty thousand followers.
Regect
[Far away] Yeah, thank you for 50k, I heard that, yeah.
Ze
I’m just… I- I’m just going to go over- I- No, I’m good. I- I’m just gonna...
Regect
[Far away] Where you going? No- hey- come dance with us! A- Alright, man. Your loss, though.
Ze
[Breathless] Oh god. Oh my god.