Ze
Why am I on a roof--
Regect
[Frantic] ZE!
Ze
Wh- What? What's wrong?
Regect
I can't find Moe!
Ze
What?!
Regect
I think Moe's missing again. I- I- Someone said- said they saw her go into a cave and I can't find her.
Ze
A cave?! Why is she near a cave, why?
Regect
I think she's in that cave. W- We gotta go grab her. I'm gonna go get her. [Pained] OW! OW!
Ze
[Unimpressed] The flying thing, man. You just gotta fly.
Regect
The flying thing... I forgot about that.
Ze
Okay, I don't know where you're going! I gotta- Okay, I'm gonna grab a pickaxe and some torches, and we'll- we'll get ready. Alright.
Regect
Moe! We're gonna find you! Moe--
Ze
Ugh, my night vision's gonna run out, thank god I got torches.
Regect
Moe! Honk, say something- if you’re here. Where the hell are you?! Come back!
Ze
Oh-- Hey, dude, wait. Come back, come back, come back, come back.
Regect
[Calm] Yo, what's up.
Ze
Look, it's like wh- when we were in that hole. Th- There's different blocks so that means... Secret room--!
Regect
I'm not going down there. You go down there.
Ze
Oh. Uh- Uh, okay.
Regect
I- I- I'll go after you. I'll go after you when it's safe, okay?
Ze
Alright, fine. I'll go down there, cause I'm the brave one.
Ze
You're just... a loser. Uh, I'll go down.
Regect
Sure, buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night, I guess.
Regect
Dude, you're gonna die!
Ze
Oh! Oh, thank god there was water. I'm really lucky- Wh--
Regect
What's wrong?
Ze
[Choked noises of disgust.]
Regect
[Gleeful] Ohohoho! That is not water! Oh, that is not water, bro. That is not water!
Ze
[Utter horror] AGH! AGH! AGHHH! WHY?!
Regect
Oh, that is disgusting, I'm so sorry, but not really, that's hilarious, dude. [Wheezing laughter]
Ze
I feel assaulted. I feel harassed.
Ze
Uh- What is it?
Regect
There's a bunch of signs here, dude.
Ze
[Reading] "Danger ahead?"
Regect
There's scary signs.
Ze
[Reading] "Proceed with caution?"
Regect
Ooh, I bet someone left these for us.
Ze
[Reading] "Cave dwellers ahead?"
[They pass by a sign reading “Micha Tanner.”]
Regect
These are really... scary... [Trails off into mutters]
Ze
I- I don't know what that is, so--
[An ear-splitting screech is heard in the distance.]
Ze
Wh- Dude, there's something down there. I think I heard the cave dwellers, I think they're ready to-- Dude. Dude, are you listen- Dude!
Regect
[Startled] Oh! Wh- Sorry, what- what's going on?
Ze
Come down. There's- I heard something over here, come on.
Regect
You hear something? Where, over here?
Ze
[Sassy] I said over here, so over here, obviously--
Regect
You just need to be nice, man-- Oh.
Ze
That must be where the cave dwellers live.
Regect
I think you're right.
Ze
I bet we're going to get into a real serious fight now.
Regect
Yeah, I- I think so.
Ze
I hope you're ready for this, cause there's no--
Regect
...O-kay.
Ze
Oh...
Regect
Yep.
Ze
Oh, they fell in the lava.
Regect
They d- They're dead.
Ze
Oh, they're dead.
Regect
They fell in the lava.
Ze
I think we lucked out.
Regect
I think we did.
Moe
[Honks]
Ze
She was home the entire time.
Regect
She was home the entire time.
Ze
Are you kidding me.
Regect
Seriously?
Ze
What were you doing? Where were you?
Moe
[Honks]
Ze
Who's "Ptolemy"?
Regect
Ptolemy?! Wh- I mean- what are you- H- How do you know him?! What are you talking about?
Ze
Wait- Wait, who is that? Who is that?
Regect
It's no one, it's no one. She- I don't know how she knows that, but she- No, no.
Ze
Wait, Moe, what were you- what are you trying to say about Ptolemy?
Moe
[Explanatory honks]
Ze
[Sly] Ohhh, I see, yeah! You know what, we should- we should invite him over for Christmas, dont'cha think?
Regect
No, no, no, we're not- we're not doing that!
Ze
Yeah, yeah, you know what, Moe? I think we're going to go with your idea.
Regect
Moe! This is your fault! Moe, come here! You did this, this- you-- you instigated, instigated!
Ze
Ahaha, yep. Tis the season, tis the season.
Moe
[Honks gleefully]
[Ze and Regect scream as a clip of an explosion plays.]
[NOTE: The explosion bit at the end is cut from the A to Ze mega compilation.
Also, this ending section is referencing Part 9 of the Monster Fucker ARG, making that cameo canon on some level.]