Ze
Okay, it looks like--
Regect
[Interrupting] Yeah, we did it--
Ze
MOVE!
[Ze punches Regect.]
Regect
[Pained] OW!
Ze
Alright, it looks like we got everything settled out for Thanksgiving, you know? I mean, all we gotta do is wait for people to come and--
Regect
Oh shoot, Ze. We don't have a turkey, dude. We need a--
Ze
[Enraged] Oh my GOD!!! [Calmed] Okay. Alright, I guess we gotta go buy one, or--
Regect
Turkey time!
Ze
Oh, he's already on his way out. Alright, Moe, do you think you could watch over the house until we get back? I- In case people come?
Moe
[Honks affirmatively]
Ze
I knew I could trust you. Okay, just- just be careful, and if anyone comes try to keep them distracted with stuff.
Regect
[Singing] In a big country dream...
Ze
[Under breath] Oh, he's already singing.
Regect
This is ridiculous!
Ze
What the hell happened here, dude?
Regect
[Dismayed] I had a whole thing set up where we were gonna get in this helicopter and we were gonna fly over to the turkeys, but some- someone-- It blew up!
Ze
It- It blew up?
Regect
It blew up, okay?! Everything's just gone now, okay?
Ze
So now what do we do?
Regect
We gotta- we gotta walk there now.
Ze
I mean-- I- Is there any way to get another helicopter, you think?
Regect
No! It was- It was gonna be cool, it was just-- It's ruined, it's ruined now. Just come on.
Ze
Okay, whatever, we just need to get a turkey, come on.
Regect
So stupid, dude, so stupid!
Turkeys
[Intermittently] Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. [Continues to repeat]
Ze
What- uh, what's going-- What- What is this? Are these the turkeys?
Regect
That's correct buddy. Those are- Those are the turkeys.
Ze
Are- Are you being serious?
Regect
What do you mean?
Ze
Those aren't even, like-- Those are just pictures.
Regect
Oh, no no no no, they're- they're png turkeys. They- They got the 2D look but they got that three-dimensional- they got that three-dimensional taste, dude. It's fine, it's fine.
Ze
Okay- Well, alright. As long-- Um. They- They seem very scarce. Are they endangered, or something?
Regect
No, they're not- they're not dangerous, dude.
Ze
That's not what I said.
Regect
They're- They're just turkeys, dude. There's like, a few of them left, so you'll be fine.
Ze
Okay but I- I just- I don't know, I kind of feel bad. There's only like, a few of them. Like, you know?
Regect
Well, I mean- I mean- It's- That's- What are they gonna do, like? You've got three to choose from.
Turkey 3
[Faraway] Freedom!
Ze
That one just--
Regect
Okay, you got two to choose from.
Ze
I- I guess? I--
Regect
Two- Two is better than one, man. Two is better than one.
Ze
A- Alright. Do I just- Is there a ladder-- [Falling] OHHH!
Regect
[Amused] Hahaha! Wipe out!
Ze
Oh, you're an ass, dude.
Ze
You're just a- You're just a jerk, you know that? No, you're just a jerk, dude. I'm just going to get this.
Regect
Sorry, that wasn't funny. Are you okay? Yeah, sorry, sorry, I–-
Regect
Okay, you're gonna wanna be quick, though, cause they- they're pretty scary, dude. They- They sense danger they're just going to run.
Ze
You're telling me that now? I mean-- Okay. Uh- Hi, bird?
Turkey 1
[Forceful] Turkey. Turkey. Turkey.
Regect
No, you're not approaching it right, dude, it's going to get scared.
Ze
Wh- What am I supposed to do? What do you mean?! Oh my god... C'mere! I don't know what to-- It's running. I don't know what you want- Okay, stop, okay, c'mere. No- I'm trying to grab it!
Regect
Nope, it's going to start running. Yep, like you did. You better grab it, you better grab it, you better grab it, dude, I- I told you. Okay, grab it. What are you-- What the hell are you doing? Grab it!
Turkey 1
[Fading as it flies away] Turkey, turkey, turkey.
Regect
Welp, there it goes, dude. [Sarcastic] Good job, dude. Good job.
Ze
What the fuck, dude. N- No! Birds-- Those birds can't...
Regect
Okay, s- screw it, just go for the other one.
Ze
Okay, fine.
Turkey 2
[Assertive] I have a gun.
Ze
What?
Turkey 2
I have a gun, I am legally allowed to protect myself. You better back the fuck up. Get away from me! Get away from me. I'm not kidding. Get away.
Ze
Wh- I-- Okay- Okay, alright. Alright, dude. Chill out. [Under breath] Fuck-
Ze
I gotta get out of here, dude. Y- You didn't tell me they could have weapons. This one has a gun, apparently--
Regect
What-- Don't tell me you fell for it! Oh my god, dude, you're so stupid!
Ze
How was I supposed to know?!
Regect
It's a turkey, how's it going to have a weapon?
Ze
It talks!
Regect
And you fell for it?!
Ze
If it talks it can wield a gun.
Regect
Nah, you're dumb dude, you're so--
Ze
Okay, you sure this guy has an extra turkey for us?
Regect
Oh, yeah, this guy has everything. He'll- He'll definitely have a turkey.
Ze
Alright.
Spamton
[Bitcrushed and disjointed] Oh! It's you!
You must be here for the [Glitching] t-t-t-turk- turk- turkey!
I've been [Sample of All Night Forever by TWRP] WAITING!!!
Here's that raw bird you've been looking for.
Thank you and-- DONT!
...Come again! [Glitchy laughter]
[Glitching as Spamton's door shuts.]
Ze
Dude, what the hell was that.
Regect
I don't know, but we finally got a turkey!
Ze
We did get a turkey. He did have a turkey, I’m very happy about that. Okay, do you know where you're going? It's really dark, I don't know if--
Regect
We've saved Thanksgiving today, me and you. Me and you saved Thanksgiving. I can’t see my way, I’m going to fall--
[We hear shattering and a shout as Regect hits the ground.]
Ze
Are you good down there? Don’t answer that, I really don’t care. I just- I just-- I’ll meet you at home.
Regect
[Wordless sobbing and blubbering]