[Ze is in a dark bedrock labyrinth. Ominous ambience plays.]
Ze
[Deep, shaky breath] Okay. Um... Shit. M- Maybe- Maybe this was a bad idea. No! No, no, no, shut up, shut up, it’s fine. I- Just gotta feel my way through. Um...
Oh, light! Wait, is that- What is that? Oh, it’s a torch. Why is there a torch here? Did someone place it here?
[Ze picks up the torch to light his way.]
Ze
Not now, crafting recipe, I’m busy! Trying to deduct things! I- I’m smart, right? I- It’s not important.
What the- Another torch.
[Ze picks up the second torch.]
Ze
Who’s placing these here? Unless these were already here? I don’t know. I- I’m- [Deep breath] Calm down, it’s okay.
Fuck, that’s the entrance. How’d I get turned around?! Okay, okay, just- Wait a minute. Another light? Is that it? Oh god.
[Ze finds a torch-lined tunnel leading to a staircase.]
Ze
Staircases. Okay. What the f- What-?
[Ze enters the lava room from A Very Regected Valentines. He stares up at the glowstone eyes in the wall and they stare back.]
Ze
Well I- I guess since there’s lava here I don’t really need these torches anymore.
[Ze throws his torches into the lava.]
Ze’s Thoughts
[Echoing] YOU’RE SO FUCKING STUPID! What were you thinking?! Wh- What do you mean?! We need the torches for the rest of the thing, are you STUPID?!
Ze
[Playing it off] Whatever. That was smart of me. No, that was smart! Because it- it clears my inventory for more stuff.
Ze’s Thoughts
[Echoing] I’M SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!
Ze
[Mortified] Oh, I’m such a fucking idiot...
Okay. Um- Alright- There’s a little side path over there. Okay. We’ll go right, and then we’ll go middle, and then we’ll go left. Order. In the court. Of King Crimson. [Clap] What am I talking about?! Okay, uh- I-
[Ze opens a door and finds a dark room with a large eye inside.]
Ze
OH! EUGH-! Some yucky-ass eyeball! It’s all shiny and glossy and- EW! EW! [Exagerrated gagging] Gross! Get that out of here. Thank you, next!
Okay, that was a bust, so I don’t know, uh- Middle. [Deep breath] Middle. Middle. Okay. The door here is already open. It-
[Ze enters to find a cobblestone house.]
Ze
What the hell is this? Is this a house?! Is this some sort of Truman dome? It’s empty.
[Ze enters the recreation of Micha’s room.]
Ze
Oh- It’s very purple. Huh. That’s weird.
It- That gave me some weird deja vu. Whatever. It’s fine. I’ll just close that just in case.
[Ze exits the room with the house and goes down the left path.]
Ze
Okay. I- I’m not afraid. I’m not scared. I’m not- I’m not scared, okay? There’s nothing here, okay? There’s nothing here that can hurt me except-
[A pulsing drone begins to repeat. Ze stops walking.]
Ze
...Except, um- [Sigh] Dammit.
[Ze turns towards the glowstone eyes in the wall.]
Ze
A- Are you having fun? Are you getting what you want?
[Daemon’s laugh track plays.]
Ze
Oh, real funny, huh?! Well this isn’t fucking funny! [Furious] You- You ruin people’s lives, okay?! You’re just- You’re evil, and you hurt people, and you suck- SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[Laughter cuts off.]
Ze
[Heavy sigh] Thank you! I need to calm down, okay. What is- What is here?
[Ze enters the room full of labelled doors.]
Ze
“Phillipino Jester?” That’s not how you spell Filipino, dude. What is this? Tania? Who the hell is Tania? Who are these people? I don’t even-
Oh my god, Micha?! Wait, is he in- is he in here?! MICHA!
[Ze rushes through Micha's door. With a glitch, he appears in a torch-lined nether brick hallway.]
Ze
I- Wh- But the- Micha! What are-
[Ze tries to go back through the door he entered, and finds a room full of prismarine beams.]
Ze
Uhhh- What?! Wait, this wasn’t- What the hell is this? Oh, the bullshit room. Full of bullshit. And room. Room for bullshit- I- I need to lock in. I’m sorry, I’m going.
[Ze makes a jump and the Jet Set Radio sound effect plays.]
Ze
[Confused] Wh- Okay? Alright? Anyways, I guess?
[Mellow ambient music plays as Ze walks down the hallway. He checks a room in its side.]
Ze
Micha? No, of course he wouldn’t be in there. Stupid.
[Ze enters another hall. Yellow eyes with following pupils are built into the walls and redstone dots the path ahead.]
Ze
Holy, blood.
[Echoing] Hello?! Hehehe, echo.
Oh, it’s following me! Yo! [Playful] Oh- Oh- Oh, you follow- Oh- Oh- Oh- Oh-!
Okay. Into the mouth of the beast. Was that tough? No, no it wasn’t-
[Ze enters the hedge maze.]
Ze
Oh, more blood! I guess, uh- Whose blood is this? Whose blood would this be? I, uh- I guess I’ll follow it.
[Sarcastic] Oh, so you bleed out and just walk through a wall! Cool. Like, why does that lead to nowhere, what?!
Oh, there’s another torch. Who’s leaving these, dude? Is it- Oh! Oh, there’s a book.
[The book reads...]
WRONG WAY NUMBNUTS
Ze
Wh-?! Wh- What the-? Jerk. Whatever. Anyways...
Uh- Why do I get this weird feeling that- What is that?
[As Ze approaches the room with the bedrock walkway, footage from Micha’s video glitches over Ze’s footage. A heartbeat and robotic noises begins to play.]
Ze
Oh my god. [Horror] I know this place. This is where he-
[Ze turns and runs, breaking through walls to escape. Static roars.]
The Eyes (Daemon)
[Speaking through flashes of static and on-screen text.]
AUDIO OUTPUT NOT FOUND
ATTEMPTING RELOCATION
FAILED
SEARCHING FOR AVAILABLE OUTPUTS
OUTPUT LOCATED
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED
NOT HAPPENING AGAIN
[The screen goes dark and the static fades out.]
[On-screen text revealed one letter at a time.]
DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM THAT PLACE?
GET UP. RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME
[Ze startles back into awareness in front of a fireplace.]
Ze
Oh my god! [Shaky breathing] Does my mic work? Oh, okay, my mic’s working. Okay. Where the fuck am I? What the hell was that?! What just-
[Ze peeks out an exit door.]
Ze
Wh-?! Okay, they’re here. [Readying self] Okay, okay. Okay! Alright, alright, alright!
[Ze exits into a dark, empty shopping mall. An electrical hum fills the air.]
Ze
What? No way! Holy shit! This is Comet Valley mall! I- I know this place! I used to come here all the time with A- [Choked off]
Uh- Alright. Okay.
[Reading] “Closed for renovations”. “Closed due to odor”? “Closed because you exist”? What- Okay? “Closed ‘cause you shouldn’t be here”?
What are these signs? What does this even mean? That was a Spencer’s before.
[Reading] “You think this is funny?” I don’t think this is funny. no. And... “fuck you”. Okay, whatever. [Mocking gibberish noises] That’s what I think! Yeah!
What if I just go back? I mean, just- I don’t even know how to- I don’t know what to- Oh? What the hell is that? What is that-? [Reading] “Stairs to forever”? What are you- Oh?
[Ze stares down the dark stairway for a moment then enters.]
Ze
[Steeling self] Okay, fuck it. Alright, um... Uh- [Disbelief] Staircase to forever. Really?! Really?! That doesn’t seem forever! That’s like, five- six- whatever! It’s bullshit, okay? And there’s nothing here-!
Wh- Where’d I just get seven levels from? I didn’t do anything?
[Ze turns around. There is no way back.]
Ze
[Panic] OH! OH GOD! Uh- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!
Okay, uh- Shit. Okay, it’s fine! It’s fine! Dude, it’s fine, it’s fine. It’s gonna be okay. You’re in a block. You’re in a box made of stone. You’re kinda trapped, but honestly, it’s fine. It- It could be, you know, a lot cramp-er in here.
[The screen flickers to black and static buzzes. The room is now smaller.]
Ze
That wasn’t a suggestion! THAT WASN’T A SUGGESTION! [Panic] LET ME OUT OF HERE! I can’t- I can’t do this!
[The screen flickers to black and static buzzes. The room is even smaller.]
Ze
I- [Gasp] Oh! OH! OH GOD! No! No, no, no, no, no! [Defeated] Oh, oh man.
Well, cool. I guess this is where I die. Like a bitch. Surrounded by rocks. I hit rock bottom.
[Ze lets out a resounding deep breath and the screen turns black.]
Ze
[Echoing]Micha... If you’re there... Um. Can I just... At least know... You’re down here? Some sort of, like... I don’t know. I don’t want to feel like I did this for nothing.
[The space Ze is standing in is now dimly lit.]
Ze
Wh- What?
[Ze turns around to see a wide flat field of grass and flowers. The sky is pure white, random chunks of the ground are missing, and a lone house sits in the distance.
Found by SECO plays. It is a peaceful and hopeful piano instrumental.]
Ze
[Quiet awe] What? Oh my god... Holy crap! Dude!
[We switch to the perspective of someone inside the house. They peek out a window at Ze, still far in the distance, then start running downstairs.]
Ze
Where the heck is this place? It’s huge! I- Is that a house? Oh- Oh god, I don’t want to fall down there, heheh. I already fell once and- [Clears throat] Anyways. Uh, alright, I’ll just go around.
What’s in that house over there? It’s huge, it’s massive! I- I’m not making any stupid joke. That’s a genuine adjective, I’m not saying anything stupid, okay? Anyways, okay, whatever.
[The perspective switches. The other person hides in the grass, unseen as Ze walks past. They turn and run towards a tree in the distance.]
Ze
Empty house, dude, there’s nothing in here! Who built this, even? I- There’s a second floor, it’s pretty big. There’s a balcony too! Oh, that’s a good place to-
Oh! OH! Where’d that tree come from?! WHAT?! Hold on, that wasn’t there before! Hold on a second, no, no, no- Stupid trapdoors-
Okay, uh- I’m gonna just, uh- che
ck out that tree! Maybe there’s a tire swing, you know? [Singing] A tire swing is a safe place and- I don’t know how the song goes, I honestly forgot. All these trees, bushes, stuff, annoying-!
[The perspective switches. The other person hides behind the tree, watching Ze approach through a spyglass. They shake their head and run away but slow to a stop in the tall grass.]
Ze
That tree does look really nice. Is that a- Is that a player tag?! Holy crap, someone else is down here! Hey! Uh- I don’t know if you’re lost too, but I- I was wondering-
[Ze gets close enough to read the player tag of MichaAmazing2. He breaks the grass to see him.]
Ze
[Awed] Holy shit. I knew it. It’s you! I found you! I knew it! I knew you were still down here.
[The screen fades to black.]
Micha
Hi. Who... Are you?
[Spamton enters Wakafante’s living room.]
Spamton
[Bitcrushed] Hah! Wowie! Take a look at all these [[Trinkets]]! I can’t wait to st- st- [[Borrow]] these neatly placed valuables.
[Spamton begins to take carpets from the ground.]
Stick Guy
S- Stop! Wh- What are you doing?! This is- This is breaking and entering!
Spamton
Uh-uh! Breaking and entering into the [[Realm Of Opportunity]].
Stick Guy
You’re fucking stealing!
Spamtom
HAH! What are you, a cop?! [[Lay-Off]] You [[Absolute]] buzzkill!
Stick Guy
Oh, lucky bitch! If I could walk I would eat you!
Spamton
[Repeating “WHAT” sound effects.]
Stick Guy
Stop saying “what”! You’re manipulating me! You’re trying to get in my mind, you’re fucking with-