Ze
Jeez, I logged in like fifteen minutes ago, where are they? Are they hiding from me?
Oh, is it like a joke? You bring the Allied Mastercomputer, all of a sudden let's hide from Ze, it's funny! Christmas party then dip...
His stupid fruitcake, that sucks. Whatever. Whatever! It's not a big deal. I'm sure there's--
[There's a knock at the door.]
Ze
Oh- Oh? Uh, guys, okay, it's funny. Yeah, real…
[Concern] Guys? Hello...? Oh, there's a hole I fell into, I remember that. Guys-- Huh?
[Distant, indistinct voices emanate from the hole.]
Ze
What? Hello?! [Hushed] Is something down there? Wh- Do I need- Do I need to go down there? ...Huh.
Ze
[Aggressive] Alright, let's get this shit. You want- you want to scare me? HUH?! You think I'm not- I'm- I'm coming down there with nothing? Oh, I've got everything. If that's you, Regect, just letting you know, I see you, you're getting your non-existent head blown off! So--
[Ze finds a bedrock hallway lined with torches. He enters and begins to walk up and down it.]
Ze
Wh- What is that? Okay, I guess this is what we're doing. ...You'd think you'd have enough torches. I guess-- I guess it's nice, it's a little scary.
Uh, alright. And there's nothing. It's just a wall. That's horrifying–
Wh- What was that? [Shout] Yooo?! There's no echo, what the hell? Am I in some sort of, like–
Where's the- Where's the door? Isn't there a door here? Oh, maybe I got turned around. Maybe- [Brushing it off] Yeah, I got turned around, or something. Right? Cause that's- that door should be there...
Wh- Wait, what?! [Increasing concern] Wait, where's the door? Hey! What- What the- HEY!
[Ze pulls out an assault rifle and shoots the wall with it a few times.]
Ze
[Frantic] What? Where's the door?! There was a door! I- How did I get- How do I get out?! There's no door, it disappear-- What?!
[Covering up fear] Alright, this- this isn't funny anymore, okay? I- I'm not scared, I just- I... don't know how to get out, and I don't want to spend the rest of the time here. Alright? Can you just tell me how to--
[Ze finds a stairway built into the side of the hallway.]
Ze
[Hushed] When was this here? ...Hell no. Alright. Is this how you want to do it? I told you. I told you what would- Alright, I guess I'm going up. [Aggressive yell] I'm coming up there! Wearing iron!
Wait, is that the outside? Is it nighttime?! How long have I been down here?! ...I get it now. I died and went to hell! Or purgatory. Or something in the in-betweens. Oh, it's raining. Huh. I didn't know it could rain in--
Oh-- There's a house, there's a whole house behind me! That must mean someone lives here... I'm trying to be, like, detective-like, but I don't know what's happening. I guess I'll go in it. We got a bed, we got--
[Glitching as Ze is brought into a dark, empty void.]
Ze
Wh- [Yelling] Hey! I was just in there! I was doing things. Hello?! Hello?
[Glitching as The Eyes appear.]
Ze
What the hell is that?! Piss off! Piss off, I say! Oh, you don't react to hits, huh? How 'bout this?!
[Ze shoots at The Eyes with his pistol.]
Ze
Huh? Huh?! ...Wait a minute.
[Ze opens his game menu. The Eyes appear above the buttons.]
Ze
What? How is that even--
[Loud glitching as one of The Eyes appears up close, and Ze is teleported back to his house.]
[Glitched and distorted laughter begins to loop.]
Ze
Ah! [Terrified gasps] What?
Shut up! SHUT UP!! [Losing it] Wh- What is happening?!
[The laughter deepens and grows more distorted.]
Ze
What the fuck was that? What is that?! STOP!!
I’m done- I- [Sniffling] Just ignore it. Just ignore it, just pretend it's not there. I don't know...